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08 September 2007 @ 10:13 pm
#85 She  
Fic Name: Losing
Rating: PG-13 for one naughty word at the beginning. (Sort of. It's more anatomically correct than naughty to be fair, but that's the best I can do at the moment)
Prompt: #85 She
Claim: Ten/Master
AN: This is a bit cheeky, because really it's a Lucy/Master fic with some Ten/Master lurking in the background trying to make itself felt, but I decided this was pretty much the only way I was going to manage 'she' in a pairing without that pronoun.
Remixed by netgirl_y2k: She Bangs the Drums (Losing, Losing, Lost Remix)

Lucy watches her husband and the Doctor on board the Valiant. She has already lost which is what he wants, but the Doctor just won't give in, and it's clearly starting to fascinate and annoy Harry.

When he tore open the sky she was sure they’d won, and she was delighted. On the deck of the Valiant, the most powerful man in the world drew her close and whispered ‘shall we decimate them?’ in her ear like a caress. It made her tremble, that word ‘we’, like his tongue on her clitoris, and she thought how much he must love her, to share this victory.

Now, she knows how foolish she was back then. Now, she knows that, for Harry, it was never about winning. Only losing matters. Of course, he needs people to see him win, because that highlights their loss, but he doesn’t need the victory itself, so there was never a question of sharing it. Everyone else must lose. She understands that now.

Her tragedy is that she loves him, quite genuinely. Loves everything about him: the smile; the aftershave; even the broken brilliance of his mind, which she so wants to fix for him.

Her tragedy is that Harry is quite aware of this and has spent the last year breaking her, like all the others. He takes no joy in her companionship; treats her like a child; mocks her stupidity and her slowness. When they sleep together he makes it clear that his decision to screw her, rather than any of the other humans on board, is merely one of convenience. He ensures, with ruthless efficiency, that every moment they are together is torturous. Though no more than the moments without him, because, despite this, she still loves him. She still wants to protect him. She still fears to lose even this shadowy Harry. She watches out for him, and so she sees the way he watches the Doctor.

The Doctor has more to lose than anybody else, but, for some reason, he refuses to surrender. There was a time, much earlier in the year, when she thought he’d fallen. Harry beamed for an entire day as the Doctor wept silently, the Toclafane giggling around his head. She thought then it might be over. But the Doctor is made of sterner stuff than any of them realised.

Harry pouts and cajoles, he destroys countries and adjusts the Doctor’s age over breakfast, but the Doctor doesn’t cry again. He just won’t lose, and she can tell that this fascinates Harry. Sometimes she catches them smiling at each other. Once she sees the Doctor’s eyelids flicker as Harry’s hand brushes his and she begins to wonder if the reason the Doctor can’t give in is the same reason Harry can’t bring himself to destroy the man properly. He still wants the Doctor to lose, but on his terms and the Doctor is wearing him down with his stillness and his forgiveness. He needs to remember who he’s fighting.

When the chanting begins she joins in, because she sees what it’s doing to the Doctor: turning him into an opponent worth destroying. When Harry teleports down to the Earth with the Doctor hanging onto to him, she closes her eyes and waits for the planet to explode around her. But then they reappear and she knows Harry hasn’t been strong enough, and he’s about to lose forever.

She knows she has to help him; that there will be nothing left of him if he is forced into the life of understanding the Doctor has planned. So when the gun skids into her shoes, she picks it up, unnoticed, and fires into one of her husband’s hearts, though it breaks her own to do it.

He staggers backwards and the Doctor catches him, desperately like a lover. Handsome Captain Harkness takes the gun from her, but it’s too late. Harry murmurs ‘how about that’ and Lucy watches. She doesn’t smile, but she doesn’t cry either. She knows that, even though Harry’s dying, she’s made him happy, as the Doctor shudders and cries and loses at last.
Current Mood: uncomfortableunsure
sarkywoman: Doctor Mastersarkywoman on September 9th, 2007 12:13 am (UTC)
I really like this insight into Lucy, she's an underappreciated character, I think.
araliasaralias on September 9th, 2007 01:06 pm (UTC)
i agree. after sound of drums when she's really quite prominant i think russell just kind of forgot about her until the master had to die then he went - ah ha! and saved all the 'good' characters from doing it. i don't necessarily think this is what lucy was thinking, but it was fun to write. anyway - glad you liked it.
Auntie Krizu: EvilsexMastersnowgrouse on September 9th, 2007 12:22 am (UTC)
Oh, *yes*. Beautiful. Just... delicious. Very, very nice. Thanks for posting:).
araliasaralias on September 9th, 2007 01:09 pm (UTC)
hooray! glad you liked it.

thanks for continually commenting :) it makes me happy.
Auntie Krizu: Masterdaddysnowgrouse on September 9th, 2007 08:08 pm (UTC)
I comment if I like it, and I do. I kept thinking of this fic long after I read it last night, it makes so much sense. Much glee here.
canadian_kazz: TARDIS doctorwho_100canadian_kazz on September 9th, 2007 02:56 am (UTC)
Oooh I really like this fic. You did a fantastic job writing Lucy, I think. Well done.
araliasaralias on September 9th, 2007 01:11 pm (UTC)
*grins* thank you. this was my first time writing lucy. i don't know whether i'll write her again, just because there's no really much place for her in my ten/master ship (it's clearly a very small one like the one jack arrives in port royal on), but i'm glad you think it worked this time.
araliasaralias on September 9th, 2007 01:13 pm (UTC)
incidentally, becuase i've just realised that i may just be confusing everyone - i meant sparrow, not harkness, not that it really matters, but i was enjoying that metaphor. well, never mind. too many captain jack's.
canadian_kazz: DW Harkness/Sparrowcanadian_kazz on September 9th, 2007 01:14 pm (UTC)
It's okay, I knew which Jack you ment. (Though I love both of them. I don't think you can have too much Captain Jack!)
araliasaralias on September 9th, 2007 01:19 pm (UTC)
this is a fairly redundant comment - but hooray for perfect icon for the situation moment! how genuinely exciting.
neek_love: rim_simneek_love on September 9th, 2007 04:12 am (UTC)
Oh, brilliant! You've brought a whole new dimension to Lucy, but now I hate her a little for breaking the Doctor ;_;
araliasaralias on September 9th, 2007 01:18 pm (UTC)
thank you for saying so. i liked writing her this way, though i'm not sure if this is really why she shot him. still - obsessive love is always more fun. that's why i ship ten/master after all. :)

also, in lucy's defence it really was the master refusing to regenerate that broke the doctor. he's so evil.
neek_love: don't_stop_masterneek_love on September 10th, 2007 03:38 am (UTC)
But that's why we love him! ^.^
araliasaralias on September 10th, 2007 09:39 am (UTC)
oh yes :)
Kayla: geeknotfromvenus on September 9th, 2007 06:10 pm (UTC)
Ooh, I like. It's so achy that after everything he's put her through, she still loved him and shot him as mercy.

Somehow that seemed more satisfying than "aha! revenge for the domestic abuse we weren't willing to actually deal with or do more than vaguely hint at!".
araliasaralias on September 10th, 2007 12:19 am (UTC)
true. that whole scene is heartbreaking really in every way (though jack goes some way to ruining it by shouting 'put the gun down!' stupidly, which is not his fault, bless, but it's still a problem for me) so i'm glad it came across properly here. i really hope we see more of lucy, and find out just how broken she is.
Breakrific: [DW] The Master *thumbs up*breakrific on September 9th, 2007 07:59 pm (UTC)
This was just brilliant. Absolutely brilliant and beautiful. And it makes so much sense, it really makes me feel better about some aspects of LotTL, so thank you :)
araliasaralias on September 10th, 2007 12:23 am (UTC)
hooray! i have a lot of issues with LotTL as well (mainly involving me muttering jacksnotthefaceofboe to myself whilst strangers back away in alarm) so i'm glad i'm helping resolve other people's :) and that you liked it.
And I still don't know if I'm a falcon or a storm: DW: The Master is better than youcameraneverlies on September 9th, 2007 08:17 pm (UTC)
Oh this was delicious! You painted Lucy just wonderfully and as it had been said before, gave us a much more 'fun' ending than than what we were given.
araliasaralias on September 10th, 2007 12:25 am (UTC)
thanks *grins* though i must point out that this fandom has a wonderfully twisted idea of 'fun' ;) glad you liked it.
Earth-Bound Misfit: The Mastersmithy161 on September 10th, 2007 11:22 am (UTC)
Hm, read this yesterday but didn't comment (no idea why), and now everyone else has said pretty much everything.

Anyway, Lucy is wonderful in this, all bewildered and in love. It's definitely interesting to think she killed him to help him win - which, of course, is how the Master sees it himself, and I vaguely suspect they planned it as a last resort.

Can't wait for more!
araliasaralias on September 10th, 2007 11:02 pm (UTC)
*stretches the concepts even further* hurrah! glad you like it. as i said earlier, i don't really think this is what happened. the hand at the end suggests if it was a plan it was a much more detailed and interesting plan than this, but what the hey? i enjoyed writing it actually, and it's short. oh the shortness is great, after all those bloated monsters of before. (man this comment is going on for a long time given i'm talking to you on msn at the same time)

next one (which i didn't write today. whoops) is going to be AU, which is scary because i havent' written AU before, but also not scary because it's going to be such a non-event. i still have my "the doctor and donna meet the master in series 4" idea simmering... all i need a a plot, now... i wonder where i can get one of them...
thimpressionist on September 25th, 2007 10:46 pm (UTC)
wow. I'm sorry I took so long to reply I've been very busy. This is really something. I hadn't thought of Lucy quite like that, and now you've got me utterly convinced. Bravo!
araliasaralias on September 25th, 2007 11:22 pm (UTC)
thank you for commenting at whatever time. comments are always much appreciated, more when they are unexpected :)

glad lucy was convincing. i think i like this fic best out of all the ones i've written so far, which is very strange really given the absense of the doctor... and the master... but anyway, thank you!

p.s. i love your icon.
thimpressionist on September 27th, 2007 12:10 am (UTC)
Sam Tyler for +1!